I don't mean this to sound quite as bad as it's going to, but explain something to me about lesbians. Specifically , why a large number of them choose to dress like badly-dressed men.

I went to an awards dinner for an all-female organization. There happen to be a large number of gay women in this organization and the ceremony was a formal-dress affair, so everyone was in their best getup.

"Best getup" for some of them meant men's suits with neckties. A few went for the simpler button-down shirts and slacks. It resulted in a fairly androgynous look which looked okay on the skinny, flat-chested women but frankly just didn't work on the more generously-proportioned in the room. About 85% of the women in the room had a short-back-and-sides haircut, like my dad has worn since before I was born.

The look screams, "I'm a big dyke!" And I just don't get it.

I've heard the, "But men dress this way and it's fine! It's society that says women shouldn't dress this way, too!" Well, that and on most women, men-style suits look like ass. Let's face it: women's bodies have curves in different places than men's. A man's-style suit, with it's broad shoulders and no waistline, looks slouchy. A well-tailored suit cut to fit a woman's curves can look great -- hell, I'd do our senior partner when she wears her grey Anne Klein because DAYUM -- but a man's suit on a woman's body looks frumpy. It looks unprofessional. It looks like a huge chunk of that woman's daily life is focused on her sexuality and/or orientation. When said woman is middle-aged, it indicates to me that she still hasn't come to terms with a lot of Her Stuff, which means that person is probably high-drama. And I don't have high-drama people in my life for long.

And, forgive me, but doesn't looking like a man kind of defeat the purpose of being attractive/attracted to women? I mean, the female form is soft. Curvy. The gentle slopes and shadows of our bodies have driven men to madness and poetry for millennia. Why hide that under the straight lines and bulky fabrics of clothing designed for men? Wouldn't it make more sense to wear clothing that glorifies women's bodies?

If a man's-style suit is truly what a woman finds comfortable to wear and expresses who she is and wants to be on a personal and professional level, I'll drive her to the Men's Wearhouse myself. If long hair requires too much upkeep, hie thee to Fly Salon and ask for Terah; she's great at a short cut. I get the political argument, I really do, and what TV and fashion magazines do to women's body-image ideals is criminal. What I don't get is why such a large number of gay women choose to dress like males, when -- in theory -- the male form is not the one they find attractive.