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From George A. Romero's Land of the Dead:
Military fathead: Here's your gun.
Charlie: Oh, that's okay. I like the ones I have already.
Military fathead: This fires 14 rounds a second.
Charlie: I don't usually need that many.
Riley: It's easy to make fun of some people. I could make fun of
you all day.
From Howl's Moving Castle:
Sophie: I'm the worst kind of witch: the kind that cleans!
(A magical message is scorched on the kitchen table.)
Markle: Can you read it, Master Howl?
Howl: To he who swallowed a falling star, your heart shall
soon belong to me. That can't be good for the table.
Ten
Things that Sound Really Nasty in Law, But Really Aren't
1) Think
you can get me off?
2) The
judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
3) Can
you get him to drop his suit?
4) For
$200 an hour, she better be good!
5) Better
leave the handcuffs on.
6) Is it
a penal offense?
7) His
attorney withdrew at the last minute
8)
Counselor, let's do it in chambers
10) Have
you looked through her briefs?
From actual court documents:
Judge:
You're charged with driving a motor vehicle under the influence of
alcohol. How do you plead: guilty or not guilty?
Defendant: I'm guilty as hell.
Judge:
Let the record reflect the defendant is guilty as hell.
"We have
a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world, and its
efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every
day who don't know anything and can't read." - Mark Twain
"When you
have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff." - Cicero
"I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm armed." -
Mal, Firefly
"When I kill you, you'll be awake,
you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed." - Mal to Simon, Firefly
"He's summoning the spirits of
darkness. I saw him do this once when a girl dumped him." -- Markl,
on Howl's temper tantrum, Howl's Moving Castle
"I can't believe I brought my real
parents to our wedding!" - John Smith, Mr. and Mrs. Smith
"I like the song. Get over it." - John
Smith on Air Supply, Mr. and Mrs. Smith
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Not
to know is bad
Not
to want to know is worse
Not
to hope is unthinkable
Not
to love is unforgivable
-African proverb
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"You know, sometimes a man just can't
satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental
floss."
-- Susanne Kollrack
"Those
who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address."
-- Lane Olinghouse
"I'm a simple man. All I want is
enough sleep for two normal men, enough whiskey for three, and
enough women for four."
-- Joel Rosenberg, "The Warrior Lives"
"Whatever you want too much you can't
have, so when you really want something, try to want it a little
less."
-- Joel Rosenberg, "The Sleeping
Dragon"
"A
man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies."
-- Oscar Wilde
"History will be kind to me for I
intend to write it."
-- Winston Churchill
"When a man says he had pleasure with
a woman he does not mean conversation."
-- Samuel Johnson
"A
dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off
you."
-- Francoise Sagan
"I expect Woman will be the last thing
civilized by Man."
-- George Meredith
"Dreams
do come true, if we only wish hard enough, You can have anything in
life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."
-- Sir James M. Barrie
"Very
few persons, comparatively, know how to Desire with sufficient
intensity. They do not know what it is to feel and manifest that
intense, eager, longing, craving, insistent, demanding, ravenous
Desire which is akin to the persistent, insistent, ardent,
overwhelming desire of the drowning man for a breath of air; of the
shipwrecked or desert-lost man for a drink of water; of the famished
man for bread and meat..."
-- Robert Collier
"I can do whatever I want -- I'm rich,
I'm famous, and I'm bigger than you."
-- Don Johnson
"Manifest
plainness, embrace simplicity, reduce selfishness, have few
desires."
-- Lao-Tzu
"I
was taught that everything is attainable if you are prepared to give
up, to sacrifice, to get it. Whatever you want to do, you can do it,
if you want it badly enough, and I do believe that. I believe that
if I wanted to run a mile is four minutes I could do it. I would
have to give up everything else in my life, but I could run a mile
in four minutes. I believe that if a man wanted to walk on water and
was prepared to give up everything else in life, he could do that."
~ Stirling Moss
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"No Vir, the universe is an evil
place, but it seems to have a sense of humor about the whole thing."
--
Ambassador Molari, Babylon 5
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Josh: Okay... Uh... (They finish
at the coffee machine and begin walking and talking again.) When a
vacancy comes up, it's up to the President to fill it, but the party
leadership on both sides always, always, always, dictates to the
President who he's gonna appoint. One Republican, one Democrat,
whoever the leadership says, that's how you keep the peace in Dodge.
Donna: But you're gonna change all that,
right? (Donna goes to her desk, Josh stops walking to talk to her.)
Josh: No, but I'm gonna spend most of the
week trying.
Donna: (Comes back from her desk and hands
Josh some notes.) That's not the right spirit, Josh. You're trying
to change the nature of democracy. (She heads back to her desk.)
Josh: You're right. I'm gonna need a bagel.
(Heads toward his office.)
--The
West Wing
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"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes
it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try
again tomorrow.' "
-- Unknown
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"If the real world were like television, mankind would become
extinct, because half the people would be unwilling to reveal
their attraction to the other half."
-
Shack on
Television Without Pity, regarding romantic entanglements on
Firefly
"We return to Inara's shuttle, as
she's chatting with Nandi through her video phone. Inara says her
problem sounds like something the Serenity crew might help
with, though she's not sure how well. Nandi starts, 'If they've
got guns and brains at all…' Inara responds, 'They've got guns.' "
--
Shack on
Television Without Pity, regarding Firefly
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A note left behind by a houseguest last summer:
"I always think life is a big mission to leave things behind
without actually losing anything."
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"If you don't want to stay the night, don't. If you do and I want
you to leave, don't take it personally. Don't say you'll call if
you know you won't. It's a lie, and it hurts. Don't assume I'm all
marriage-minded now that I've seen you naked. Some women get that
way; most of us just want to brush our teeth."
--Sars at
Tomato Nation
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[Harrison] Ford has made a brilliant
career of playing reluctant knights in ill-fitting armour. Forget
saving the damsel; Han Solo and Indiana Jones looked like they
barely wanted to get out of bed. They had to be talked into every
good deed. Every action, every punch, every thrust into hyperspace
or swing across a chasm seem preceded with a huff and a weary "Oh,
all right."
--from
Fametracker
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"Dex
aie, Rancon, you speak of love as if it's commonplace between
husbands and wives. That's because you're from Aquitaine! You were
nurtured on troubadour poetry and believe that all couples are
joined by affection, but you're wrong! Ask any nobleman in this
country if he loves his wife and he won't understand the question!
Men "love" God; they marry for expediency--don't you know that? If
they use the word love to a woman, they mean lust, and
rarely for their wives."
--From The Book
of Eleanor: A Novel
"Service
and gifts and fine clothing and riches
Nourish true love as does water the fishes!"
--From The
Book of Eleanor: A Novel
"The
only power a woman holds over a man--whether he's her husband or
not--is his desire for her. She can either grant her favors as a
reward, or withhold them as punishment. If he feels no desire, she
loses control."
--From The
Book of Eleanor: A Novel
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"The most horrible truth is that everything
trundles merrily towards hell, and the second most horrible truth is
that you're probably pushing them that way by how you lean. But the
most hopeful truth is that despite every physical law pulling the
universe towards entropy, it still gets there so incredibly slowly,
and the second most hopeful truth is that it takes such tiny
counter-pressures to save the parts you love."
--Glenn McDonald
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"Romance is
almost, by definition, supposed to be a thing of great speed and
spontaneity: a "rush," a "whirlwind" that "sweeps us off our feet" and
"carries us away." But who the fuck has ever really enjoyed being
hit by a tornado? And who the hell can think rationally in the
middle of one?--Susan Jane Gilman,
Kiss My Tiara
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"As a poet
once said: 'All who ever lived have died/But not one died of love, nay,
nor of a broken heart.' Consequently, you're going to need a gun."
--from
The Onion's horoscope 12-7-2000
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"We really
don't have enemies. It's just that some of our best friends are trying
to kill us."
--Unknown
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"In times
like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like
these."
--Paul Harvey
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"A dress
makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
--Francoise Sagan
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"People
may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something
designed to get what they want."
-- David Mamet
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"The big
difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money
usually costs a lot less."
-- Brendon Behan
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Lennier
begrudgingly tells his old enemy that he seeks wisdom. "You don't come
to the dead for wisdom," Morden replies. "My head is still rotting on
the end of a Centauri spike."
--From Babylon 5, "The Day of the
Dead"
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"Don't go for
the geniuses. They never want to sleep."
--Abbey Bartlet giving Mallory McGarry romantic advice about
Sam Seaborn, The West Wing
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"Sometimes it
takes all my resolution and self-control to refrain from butting my head
against the wall."
-- Joseph Conrad
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"Sometimes you
meet people that you really like cause they scare the bee-jeevers out of
you on some unconscious level."
--Unknown |
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The enemy is anyone who's going to
get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
--Joseph Heller
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George Bernard
Shaw said, "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest
joke in the world."
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“Anyone can slay a dragon, he
told me, but try waking up every morning and loving the world all over
again. That’s what takes a real hero.” ~Brian Andreas
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“I don’t really have secrets. I
just forget a lot of stuff.” ~ Brian Andreas
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